Quixotic Mademoiselle La Maupin- Famous Women (Poem)
My father trained court pages
I learnt dancing, reading, drawing, fencing
With them
Dressed like them too
Beat them all at fencing
When I was fourteen
I became the Count d’Armaganac’s mistress
He married me to Sieur de Maupin
My husband was in the south of France
I was with the count in Paris
My love was fencing master Serannes
We ran away to Marseille
We got by with fencing exhibitions
Singing in taverns
I dressed as a man
But it was clear I was a woman
In Marseille I joined an opera company
When I wearied of my lover
A young woman took my fancy
Her parents put her in a convent
I followed her there
Stole the body of a dead nun
Put it in my lover’s bed
Set the room on fire
So that we could escape undetected.
We lasted three months
I was charged
As a man
With kidnapping, body snatching, arson
To escape death by fire
I left for Paris
Dressed as a man, naturally.
On my way there
A young nobleman insulted me
We fought a duel
I drove my blade through his shoulder
Like a good duellist
I asked about his health on the morrow
I learnt he was a duke’s son
He sent a friend to apologize
We became lovers
Then better still, lifelong friends.
I continued to Paris
Paused to pick up a new love
A fellow opera singer
What’s the point of friends in high places
If they can’t help you
I asked the Count to help
Remove the charge on my head
He got the King to pardon me
So that I could sing with the opera.
The audience loved my voice, acting, man dress
I doffed my helmet at my debut
Letting my long blond hair down
The audience clapped even harder
Offstage, I beat a singer who dared eve tease
The women in our troupe
I went as a man to a court ball
Kissed a woman three noblemen were courting
They all challenged me to fight
I defeated all three in fencing duels
Since duelling was illegal
I was on the run again
In Brussels, doing a suicide scene
I stabbed myself with a dagger
Intentionally
I was the Elector of Bavaria’s mistress
He was not man enough for me
Offered me 40,000 francs to leave
I did
But I left the money too.
Back to Paris for another pardon
I bit my lover Thevenard’s ear in a fight
Namby pamby soprano roles didn’t suit me
A contralto, I was best as a
Goddess or a strong woman who fought.
Fell in love with a soprano though
Tried to commit suicide when she cold shouldered me
Lived for two years with one of France’s greatest beauties
When fever took her, my heart broke
I retired from the stage.
“I was made for perils as well as for
Tenderness.”
Here’s the previous poem in my Famous Women series.
Read more about the flamboyant Mademoiselle La Maupin here.
